16 April 2018

Orgill Family Pictures 2018

Family pictures are really important to me.
REALLLLLLY important. 
I think it's because we only took them once when I grew up 
& FINALLY a second time last year
(which was ONLY because my adorable nephew is now in the picture ;) )
but anyway... I guess I'm just making up for lost time.

Our house is coated in pictures from our wedding, honeymoon, trips, you name it. 
Seriously there's not a blank space on any wall. I MAKE SURE OF IT.
When you walk through each room you either feel like 
you are walking through heaven or through a photo album. 
Pictures of us or the Savior.

We just took our 2018 pictures & as I was putting them on my hard drive 
I couldn't help but go through all our previous ones as well.

Who knows. We will probably get more taken this year.
& when I'm pregnant? & when we have kids?
It will more than likely become a bi-monthly thing.

You've been warned.






13 April 2018

Friday the 13th

Anyone who knows me knows I live for all things scary 🧟‍♂️😈👻🧛🏻‍♀️ 
Halloween is my favorite holiday, graveyards & ghosts are my jam 
& horror movies are my favorite pastime 💀👀 

At the beginning of every year I go through the calendar, 
circle every Friday the 13th & in anticipation 
wait to celebrate all of them 🤡🕸👹⚰️ 

Tonight consists of scary movies, 
spooky stories told with a 🔦 
& of course, lots of treats 🕷☠️


03 April 2018

Why I'm a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

I’ve been thinking a lot about the gospel lately & wondering why I actively choose to make it a part of my life. 

Being raised in the thick of Mormon culture can be an interesting thing. Everything was just so expected, growing up. I knew my friends would be at church the next Sunday. I didn't ask a whole lot of questions. My faith was, in all honesty, dependent on my parents faith, but as I got older things started to shift. Everyone started making their own decisions. Friends that I thought I'd see at church the next Sunday stopped coming. Circumstances in life started dictating what we believed & how we believed & why we believed. 

I've been a Mormon my whole life & while I'd like to say my dedication to the gospel has always been sky-high, unwavering & untouched - that would be a lie. I've never actually DOUBTED the truthfulness of the gospel; in my heart it's always felt right. It's always felt like a tangible piece of me I would be completely & utterly hollow without, but I've had my questions. I have my shelves. You know at the end of the day it's an active choice I choose to make because I'm a FAR better person with the gospel than I could ever be without it... & as I sit here & close my eyes & think of the happiest moments in my life my Heavenly Father & Savior were there. In those moments They were either holding me or standing right beside me. Without question. Without fail. Every time. 

The gospel I believe in changes me. It has made me more charitable. It has made me a better wife, a better daughter, a better friend. It has humbled me. It has taught me repentance & forgiveness & love. Real love. The real, unconditional, I will never give up on you kind of love. The I don't care what mistakes you've made, you are my child, kind of love. The love that is so boundless & so consuming I can't bring myself to flinch because I don't want to miss a second of it. 

What this church has given me far outweighs my questions & it far outweighs my doubts. It has changed my soul & my heart & my spirit. It has changed my character. & I'm just feeling really grateful for my faith tonight. Really, really grateful.

09 March 2018

More love.

I've had a lot of "ah-ha" moments this week.
Received a little loving retribution, even.
Get down on everyone's level kind of reminders.

I'm more convinced than ever before the answer is love.
It's always love.
More love.
More love.

For me, the greatest source of love is found in Jesus Christ & His Father.
Their love is the love that drives me.
That is the purest love I have found.
It is the purest love that I know.

Everyone's source of love is different.
& our sources of love shift depending on where we are in our lives.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter.
Wherever you find love, run with it.
Love is light.
& all light is good light.

John 15: 12 This is my commandment, 
That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

26 November 2017


I'm honored to have been in 4 of the 6 Orgill Christmas dance videos.

I love each of these people dearly.

13 October 2017


I've always been self conscious of my nose, but I'm learning to love it because it's big like my dads. (Love you, Dad) 

😜I've gained 10 pounds since I got married, but with those 10 pounds came lots of memories, weekly date nights & late-night ice-cream runs.

I raaaaarely wear make-up & 9 out of 10 days I wear yoga pants, but I'm more comfortable that way & I no longer feel self-conscious about it. 

If people question my motives or decisions I no longer crumble with self-doubt. I stand firmly without wavering; knowing that I’m incredibly worthy, wise & strong. 

There are days my anxiety is unmanageable, but rather than attacking myself for it I now chalk it up to a bad day & look forward to tomorrow. 

This year I have focused on self-love. I have focused on developing an indestructible sense of self. I have focused on setting realistic expectations & for the first time in a long time I feel like I not only know the in's-&-out's of myself but am so completely at peace & accepting of what I see. I'm infinitely more tolerant of my weaknesses & I treat myself with patience & understanding & acceptance; like I would anyone else. 

Self-love & self-compassion has changed my very core. Not only has it changed my relationship with myself but with all of those around me. I’ve learned that setting boundaries aren’t personal attacks, but often times lovingly necessary. I still have bad days & I still have my insecurities - but they no longer hinder me. I acknowledge them for what they are & then let it go. Life was not meant to be lived criticizing ourselves &/or others. We each have so much to offer the world & our “perceived” weaknesses can be the most defining marks of our character.

27 September 2017

Anxiety & me

I have anxiety; more specifically GAD.

Sometimes it's severe & sometimes it's not.

Sometimes I can overcome it & sometimes I can't. 

On Sunday I could not.

After attending the second hour of church my anxiety snuck up on me. The thought of interacting in relief society was just too much & I couldn't bring myself to go, so my husband took my hand, walked me to the car & held me.

Life isn't always easy & it's not always glamorous. My life isn't tidy & it certainly isn't perfect, but it's overwhelmingly good.

I'm one of the lucky ones. For the most part I've learned to manage my anxiety & it's not nearly as severe as it could be.

Anyway, I say all of this because tonight as I was going through my phone I noticed Joseph had - unbeknownst to me - taken this picture on Sunday. To me, it sums up marriage. It sums up love. It sums up life.

It's hard but it's good.
And I'm not quite sure how,
but it really is the hard that makes it good.

And for that I'm undeniably grateful.

16 September 2017

I don't understand hardness

“It’s the hard things that break; soft things don’t break. 
It was an epiphany I had today and I just wonder 
why it took me so very, very long to see it! 
You can waste so many years of your life trying to 
become something hard in order not to break; 
but it’s the soft things that can’t break.

 The hard things are the ones that shatter into a million pieces.” 

I don't understand hardness.

I don't understand not feeling everything with every bone & nerve in your body.

I don't understand feeling emotions half-way -- I never have.

I don't understand the concept of not caring infinitely
about people & places & things & animals & nature & God.

I don't understand hearts that refuse to feel & I don't understand
souls that are careless & reckless & intentionally negligent with another's.

I don't understand living half-way.
 I don't understand passionless life.
I don't understand lifeless love.

I understand tenderness & gentleness & 
sensitivity & compassion & empathy.

I understand feeling so much it hurts.
I understand getting attached to everything & everyone that crosses my path. 
I understand physically & mentally & emotionally experiencing someone
else's pain with them.

I understand softness.
I understand awareness.
& I understand love.

“Just because you are soft doesn't mean you are not a force. 
Honey and wildfire are both the colour gold.” 
― Victoria Erickson

03 August 2017

My heart is full -

It's a Thursday. 
There's nothing particularly special about today. 
It's just another day. 
I took my last final for summer semester today.
My dog Bella is having puppies next week.

Yada, yada, yada.

I think it's just another day,
but then I remember who I get to spend life with -

And then I realize that today is an exceptionally special day...
because the sweet boy in the picture makes every day a special day.

How I found Joseph I'll never know,
but I'm forever grateful and humbled that I did. 

He makes life more perfect than I ever hoped it could be.

And well... that's pretty special.

02 July 2017

Happy quarter of a century, babe


 You are my safe place,
my happy place,
and my favorite place.

So grateful you were born, love.