09 June 2013

Sunday Will Come


I have had a funny relationship with social media lately, particularly this blog. There are times I don't want to say anything, and times I want to say way too much. This past week has been one of the harder weeks... for particular reasons. I have felt angry, and I have felt resentment. Thursday morning I went to the temple, and I was hoping the anger would kind of melt away, but it didn't. In fact being in the temple seemed to almost make me more angry. There are moments the past year comes flooding back, and a wave of emotions kind of takes over. Who knew it was possible to feel every emotion all at once! So this morning, before church, I got on my knees and asked the Lord if He would open my heart. I asked Him if He could soften my heart. I asked Him to stick close-by today, and for whatever reason, at church I heard every single thing I needed to. I met exactly who I needed to. And I couldn't stop crying, all day long. And when I have those kind of moments, I ask Heavenly Father to help me remember them, because in my dark moments, remembering special times like that help pull me through. My heart is full of love. It might not be quite as full tomorrow, or the next day. I will probably have a few more waves of uncontrolled emotions this week, but today, right now in this moment, my heart is full of love. I am grateful. We are all children of God, and we are all in this mortality thing together. The race is not against each other - it is against sin - as Elder Holland would say. Forgive and forget. Be happy and move forward. Be hopeful and have faith - because when nothing else in the world makes sense, the gospel always will.