01 August 2013

Sometimes you turn the page, or throw the book away.

In the very back of my coat closet, hangs a beautiful lace wedding dress. In the bottom of my nightstand sits a wedding ring full of memories and dreams. Today, after hesitation and procrastination, I took that beautiful wedding dress out of it's bag, and I held that wedding ring for the last time. Memories of that one prominent day come flooding back. The first time I put on that ring feels like yesterday, and for a second it's hard to breathe. 

After those initial few seconds, a feeling of peace sweeps over me. Relief, even. Most of all strength. I, in my own right, am my own hero. I have some battle scars. There are still some wounds, but those wounds are healing.

Today, I said goodbye to the remainder of any memories of the hopes and dreams I once had, but no longer do. It's only noon and I have felt every emotion the human body can feel, but I'm still here. My heart is still beating. I'm still smiling. My spirit is still what it was.

Goodbyes signify beginnings - hello's - if you will. This isn't the beginning of a new chapter. This isn't just the flip of a page. It's a new book. As C. Joybell C. would say, "that first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas." She is right. This new book has just begun. I am on the first page. And it is a beautiful one.