19 November 2013

Making the covenant to be a disciple of Christ is the beginning of a lifelong process, and the path is not always easy. As we repent of our sins and strive to do what He would have us do and serve our fellowmen as He would serve them, we will inevitably become more like Him. Becoming like Him and being one with Him is the ultimate goal and objective—and essentially the very definition of true discipleship. -Elder Daniel L. Johnson

This past week has been interesting; overwhelming, to say the least. I've wondered if it was worth it, publicly announcing to everyone and their dog that I'm divorced. Let me assure you - it was worth it. And let me say again how much every email and comment and letter has meant to me. 

Today at work I had an interesting experience, and by interesting I mean amazing. I was putting some things away, when I saw a woman waiting at the register who obviously had a question. There was someone there to help her, but for whatever reason I felt that I needed to be the one to help her. I walked over to her and asked what she was looking for. She asked me about a specific book regarding self-esteem for women. I searched the title and we didn't have it, but for whatever reason A Single Voice by Kristen M. Oaks kept coming to my mind. It's a great book, and I guess it touches on self-esteem, but the book is based on being single in the Mormon culture. I was trying to hold a conversation with this woman, but the words in my head were literally so loud I couldn't hear what she was saying. I knew it was weird, and totally not what she was looking for, but I asked if I could recommend something anyway.

As we were walking towards the bookshelf she said, "I don't know why I'm sharing this, I don't like sharing this, but I recently went through a divorce." I stopped walking, and there was this moment of complete peace and security. I looked at her and her eyes filled with tears. We talked for a while. I told her how much her sweet spirit touched me. As she left she looked at me and said, "I really needed this," and with that she thanked me and walked away. 

I think Heavenly Father must look at me sometimes and think, seriously Kenna, don't you EVER doubt that I am here, and that this gospel is real. Don't you EVER doubt that the Spirit is with you as you live worthy. Don't you EVER doubt that what you are feeling isn't real, because it is. 

I can humbly and gratefully get on my knees and tell my Father in heaven I know it is real. I know He is there. I know that this gospel is my saving grace. It is not a part of me - it is who I am. It is my soul, and my spirit. It is everything.

I'm grateful to my Father in heaven and to His Son for blessing me with these amazing opportunities to love my brothers and sisters and to serve them in whatever way I can. I am grateful for Their trust in me. There is nothing more rewarding in life, and absolutely nothing more fulfilling, than knowing that Heavenly Father trusts us with His precious children to try to lift them and serve them in whatever capacity we can. That's what this is about guys! That's all this is. Love each other. Serve each other. Bear your testimony. Don't you ever doubt if your testimony, and your faith, and your experience, is worth being shared. It is meant to be heard, and it is beautiful, and it is good. The Spirit is there. The Spirit is waiting to help you. The Spirit will help you find the words you cannot think of, and the Spirit will help you say those words when you don't know how. Don't doubt that. And in return, your faith will prove to your Father in heaven you are worthy of more opportunities to serve, more opportunities to love, and more opportunities to claim your spot and prove your place as a true and loyal disciple of Christ.