01 April 2014

God would not have made marriage such a sacred and vital institution if He did not intend it to work.


This blog has paved an incredible path for me to meet some wonderful people and create some very meaningful friendships. I will forever be grateful for the opportunities that have come from me deciding to share my story. In the process of writing this blog and meeting people, I have talked to and met hundreds of people who have gone through divorce; in fact, I get emails daily, from people who are experiencing it. There is nothing more humbling than knowing because of what I went through, I can be of some assistance to these people in some small way. I promised the Lord that I would use this trial that I was given to help others - in whatever capacity I can. You would think my heart might hurt a little less with each email I get - each divorce I hear about. The truth is, it doesn't get any easier. My heart still breaks every time... and the love I have for these people grieving increases - every, single, day.

If there is one message I want to convey to others who read this blog it is this: the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is true. Your Father in heaven loves you more than you will ever know. You have a Savior and Redeemer who gave His life for you. Whatever the struggle, whatever the heartache, whatever the disappointment, you will be okay.

Secondly:
Society needs to stop going into marriage thinking it's about us and our happiness - because it's not. Divorce - in most cases - is a total and complete cop-out. Divorce - in most cases - is not justified. Marriage is going to be one of the hardest things you ever get yourself into, but deal with it. Think of your other half - your better half. Love them and cherish them and respect them and honor them. Be patient with them, and for heavens sakes stop quitting the second things don't go your way. Stop thinking "your next marriage" will be easier, and "your next spouse" won't have as many problems. They won't always be the same problems, but trust me, they will have problems, and they will be just as real.

Think back to the day you promised forever, and think of why you promised forever. Mean it, and mean it again, every day. Re-commit to that decision every day. Twice a day if you have to. Seven times a day if you have to. "While there is any prospect of life, we seek healing again, and again... The same should be true of our marriages, and if we seek Him, the Lord will help us, and heal us. A marriage, eternal in duration - and Godlike in quality - does not contemplate divorce." -Elder Oaks

The fundamental foundation of this gospel is faith. We have faith that there are better things ahead. We have faith that God in fact, is there, and tomorrow will be brighter. We have faith in the fact that we are loved, and that we can be forgiven. Having faith in your spouse and in your marriage should be no different. I promise you, God would not have made marriage such a sacred institution if He did not intend it to work. Remember that marriage, and eternal companionship is a vital part of His perfect plan, and when things get hard - don't think that divorce papers will be the answer to your problems. From someone who was served them, let me tell you: they won't. The best things in this life take a lot of hard work, and God would not have marriage be any other way. Regardless of how lightly people treat it, marriage is still sacred, and it still means something. It should still be held in the highest esteem. As Elder F. Burton Howard states so eloquently: "If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by." 

It is my prayer that our marriages be far from ordinary, 
and remain eternal in duration.