The past two weeks of my life have been emotionally/physically/mentally&spiritually draining. Like in every way. Has life ever felt like a chore? It's just like somehow, temporarily, become this nasty cycle of feeling like you could be doing more, and just wanting so desperately to feel like you're not doing all that bad? Like things aren't so bad?
Well... I have experienced that lately.
At the beginning of this week I booked a 3 day trip to Las Vegas, and drove by me and my lonesome to the city of sin, (except not really, because it was northern Las Vegas). I turned off my phone, drove to the nearest Deseret Book, bought a book that felt familiar to home, and laid out in the sun and read.
I cried. I prayed. I read my scriptures. I ate bananas and granola bars in my hotel room, and I just thought. I thought about life. I thought about the purpose of all of it. I thought about the bigger picture... I tried to remember the bigger picture. I also found a lot of pictures that made me feel better... kind of.
But then, what really made me feel better, was this quote by President Gordon B. Hinckley:
“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey…delays…sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling burst of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.”
... and you know what? I think he may have just had it right!
And you know what else? That's okay.
I know that mortality entails these times. I know that a part of our plan (maybe a larger part than we would like) is going to be difficult. And it's going to be hard. And it won't be fair and people won't always do the right thing and we won't always respond the right way and we will just feel crummy. Because sometimes life does that. But at the end of the day, we will always have the one, most perfect, most unchanging gift we could be given...
And that my friends?
That makes me feel like this: