04 October 2014

To the perfect bloggers with the perfect clothes in their perfect homes living their perfect life:


I've been asked numerous times why I've shared so publicly through social media the trials in my life, particularly my divorce. I have sat in tears as I have written the words and feelings from my heart over the past couple of years. I have questioned whether I should share these things at all, and I have questioned the melancholy tone my blog has portrayed from time to time... 

But tonight in the LDS Conference session of Priesthood, Elder Quentin L. Cook shared the following thoughts:

"Be authentic in the use of social media...

Arthur C. Brooks has emphasized this point. He observes that 'when using social media we tend to broadcast the smiling details of our lives but not the hard times...

... we portray an incomplete life, sometimes in self-aggrandizing or a fake way, we share this life and then we consume the almost exclusively fake lives of our social media friends...

... how could it not make you feel worse to spend part of your time pretending to be happier than you are, and the other part of your time seeing how much happier others seem to be than you.'"

Can I get an AMEN? 
Life is real, whether we want to portray it or not, and hardships and adversity are absolutely and entirely inevitable.

Most bloggers have far better clothes than I do, and are much more photogenic than I am, but the realities of their lives are hidden underneath the glamour.

Most bloggers have much more money than I do, and traveling the world is simply their way of life, but the voids they fill by traveling are completely and always undisclosed.

Most bloggers have perfect families, with perfect husbands, and perfect newborn babies, in perfect clothes and in perfect houses, but the lives they lead beyond their Instagram feed is filled with difficulties, and trials, just like every other human being in the world.

There is unity in adversity. There is something to be said for being real, being genuine, being authentic. And there is certainly something to be said for sharing your life - the real, raw things in you life - and being okay with it. 

Kudos to each and all of you who live the same life online as you do offline. In the openness and honesty of your life, we have all found common ground and comfort.