10 January 2017

"The essence of being human is that one does not seek for perfection." George Orwell

I've always prided myself on the fact that I don't pretend my life is perfect. This blog for me has been an open and raw place for me to talk about the trials I've experienced in my life. I've openly shared that I'm no stranger to anxiety and depression. I went through a divorce and wrote all of the nitty gritty details. I think I learned fairly quickly that perfection (offline and online) is unattainable.

That simple concept was reinforced however when my sister sent me a link to this story the other day. Trying to maintain the look of perfection is not only a trivial (and superficial pursuit), but the pursuit of maintaining a perfect life on social media can be emotionally taxing and unnecessarily draining.

I've received emails from handfuls of people who once read my blog, saying that they feel like it is harder to relate to me now that "everything in my life is perfect." A lot of these people who have reached out are still smack dab in the middle of a divorce; still reeling from the whirlwind they call their life. Receiving these emails, and then reading this news story my sister sent me made me think twice about blogging. Just because I'm married to a great guy BY NO MEANS MAKES MY LIFE PERFECT. It means that an aspect of my life that once didn't make sense now does. There are a million other aspects to my life. A good marriage alone cannot make someone happy, and it certainly cannot fix all of your problems. In fact the very act of marriage alone, the act of caring and putting another human being before all of YOUR needs? Well that only brings more ish to the table.

One of my New Year's Resolutions was to begin blogging again, and honestly I didn't feel like I had anything to blog about until I realized that there really is so much more to my life than what this blog was founded on. I still worry about the future. I still have plenty of insecurities. I still have trust problems and anxiety up the wazoo, but with that comes a whole lot of happiness and a whole lot of good. Which is exactly what life is made up of.

A whole lot of ugly interspersed by some beautiful moments.

So here we go again.

Back to the blogging world.

We meet again.